Last year, friend of mine, and fellow coach posted on facebook that she was reading the Desire Map. Intrigued, I put it on my list. On a trip to visit family in Ft. Myers, I used one of my subscription credits on Audible (best thing ever!) and I was instantly hooked! Danielle LaPorte's sultry voice and poetic writing style really appealed to me. I listened to the first half of the book every chance I got. In the second half of the book, you do a lot of reflective writing to uncover your Core Desired Feelings. So, this part is not ideal in the audio book format. For the very first time, after finishing all but the workbook portion of the book, I immediately started listening to the book again. I found myself playing it in the car again and again just because it relaxed me and made me feel good. After listening to the audio book 3 times, I finally bought the book.
For the first time in a really, really long time, I actually did the work. I'm totally guilty of listening and reading but not doing the homework. But this time, I wrote, I doodled. I bought some pretty pens and scribbled hearts and swirls around words that made me feel alive again. It didn't happen overnight, I took months to finish the workbook. It was important to me to do the work when I was in a good state of mind and not rushed. I took time on Fridays to have a artfully poured latte at one of my favorite local cafes and Desire Map before picking the kids up from school. I'd sneak back into bed on a weekend morning after the kids got up and involved in their own activities and scribble colorfully in my book. Desire Mapping became my favorite escape and self-care practice.
I began putting the Desire Map principles into practice way before I finished the workbook. I simply asked myself if things were making me feel the way I wanted to feel. If not, I'd ask myself, "how do I want to feel?" and "what can I do right now to feel that way?" This simple concept began producing huge results.
Here's one early example: I had a difficult corporate client. I was always on egg shells with this one. It was like my company was never quite good enough. There was frequently problems and minor complaints which is just not the norm for me. My actual sales and profit for this account was very small but they are a huge organization and I kept thinking I could grow into something big. My goal setting mind wanted to please them, hoping for more sales.
After a particularly unpleasant exchange with this client and some drama that ensued around it, I remember thinking, "Oh, this feels bad, I don't like how this feels." Then, bing! I remembered Danielle La Porte saying, "Feeling good is the primary intention ".
I knew what I had to do. I decided, no more. I got an email a few weeks later from that client requesting a workshop, as usual with little notice so I'd have to scramble to get it coordinated. So, I did it. I fired them. It felt scary but amazing.
I wasn't sure that I had done the right thing until just a few days later one of my other clients called me and went on about how much they appreciated me and my company. She went on to tell me how much she appreciated my flexibility and willingness to brainstorm and that she had a vision for her wellness program and she thought I was the one to help make it happen. This client has now become my #1 client, more than doubling sales in a year. I believe it was the energetic freedom of firing one difficult client that made room for this new opportunity.
It was after this powerful experience that I knew I needed to become a Licensed Desire Map Facilitator. As soon a learned that this was even a thing, I was intrigued. With everything I learn, I'm always thinking of how I'm going to incorporate it into my coaching practice or a workshop. The fact that a program existed to make delivering this material so easy with full support of the author resonated with me. In December of 2015, I made it official and joined Danielle LaPorte's team of Licensees!
Eventually, through my Desire Map practice and journaling I did find my core desired feelings. They keep changing and evolving but currently they are Divine Feminine, Ease, Connected, Joy, Lit up and Golden.
Golden is my favorite and it is my focus in 2016. Golden actually encompasses all of my other Core Desired Feelings.
Golden to me is strong, independent, abundant, lacking nothing. The knowing that everything I do turns to gold. The Universe supports me. I cannot fail.
As a women who in leadership and business, I’ve become aware that I tend to model the masculine ways of doing business. Doing things as they have been done before. Very linear and very goal and results focused. This realization made me ask myself, "What if I could be more effective with an approach that resonates more closely with my feminine nature?" This got me thinking. Not how can I get out of this business (like I thought I may have needed to more than a few times) but rather, how I can I transform it to fit my core desired feelings?
Giving your whole business an overhaul can be overwhelming and that is not the kind of feeling I’m looking for so, I started small. These simple actions put me into a more creative space and make me feel softer, in a good way:
- I made an altar in my office
- I brought in crystals, I charged them and anointed them
- Burning more incense throughout the day
- Lighting a candle & playing music while I work
- I like to work at my favorite coffee shop sometimes, the change of scenery makes me happy
In my social life, I’ve set out to make new meaningful connections with women. Some of the things I've incorporated are:
- New moon circles
- I went on a Women's Nature Retreat
- In how I dress, I updated my wardrobe and started wearing jewelry more often
- Going out after dark on my own for classes or gatherings (this makes me feel empowered too)
Desire Mapping can be as simple as asking yourself a question and seeing what comes up. I wrote this one day…"What will I do today to feel golden?" Journaling helps me get in touch with the actions that I can do to get in touch with CDF’s. In turn, goals are being met. Here's what followed...
"I will do some much needed follow up on business connections. That's practical but could yield results. I will also take some time after lunch and do a sacred tea meditation. I will focus this time on my core desired feelings."
My follow-up’s resulted in several new contracts. And they were easy! All I had to do was ask. My tea meditation put me in a good space to envision my first Desire Map Retreat and specifically who want to partner with. I got a clear picture of what I wanted the event to feel like down to what music I want to play, the visual elements I wanted to bring in, the whole vibe that I wanted to create. I reached out to my friend and we now have a date for my very first Desire Map weekend experience in May!
I’m not sure of the full impact of this work because it’s only just begun but I foresee a whole new way of running my business emerging.
- The way I make decisions
- The way I delegate
- The way I plan my days and weeks
- The jobs I take on & the ones they don’t
- The way I set goals
With every decision I ask myself, will this get me closer to my core desired feelings?
Desire mapping has made me really aware of what lights me up. When I feel “it” I know it. And I ask myself, how can I get more of this into my life? As a result, I grow happier and more fulfilled and as a result more goodness happens.
And remember (as Danielle LaPorte says), "Feeling good is the primary intention. "
If you want to know more about my coaching practice or my Desire Map events, please contact me for more information!